Sacrifice
by Tatikara
Summary: [ kairiku collection ] 007 . if it were your decision, would you leave again?
1. tissues

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a **u t h o r s** . _note_ ;;  
This is a collection of drabbles / oneshots for the Kairiku ( kairi x riku ) pairing, thus, the chapters will not be related.  
I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

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**S A C R I F I C E  
_x_**;; Kairiku collection  
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oo1 ;; _tissues_

He remembered the first time she watched them battle.

He wished he could forget it.

As if it weren't bad enough that he technically _lost_ to the hyperactive brunette (which had been the first time in months, if anyone was counting), he was slouched over on the ground with an injured hand – mumbling various profanities unfit for his age – when she took notice. Sora, somehow, tripped him during their pointless spar, ending with the platinum headed boy crushing and scraping his right hand; as six- and seven-year-olds were expected to do, he gnawed on his lower lip and stared at what he believed would be a permanent scar, even though only a thin layer of blood smeared around his contrastingly pale skin. The younger (and still standing) boy gaped at him, embarrassment for hurting his friend with his clumsiness engraved along his face, though an eager expression overwhelmed his eyes as he waited for the other to stand back up. Riku was always stronger – he could _always_ shake off scratches and bruises with a smirk. But humiliation caused the child's confidence to leak, and he realized how angry he was at Sora (not for nearly mangling his hand, but for inviting Kairi to judge, as if she wanted to see the two boys hack each others' skin off). Riku's attention seemingly diverted to the ground and he closed his eyes, avoiding the expectant looks radiating from sea blue orbs as he tried to regain composure and start the game over again.

But, _god damn it_, it hurt.

"Riku!" The boy peeled his eyelids back open upon hearing his name, aquamarine irises meeting a pair of worried cobalt as the girl he feared rushed to his aid. He mentally flinched, shameful that she might only remember him for getting unintentionally beat up by (in his opinion) the biggest wimp on the islands.

_She can't see me like this_.

Selfish desires and hurt pride caused him to instantly turn away, conceitedly shielding his injuries from the girl in white by cradling his arm towards his chest. But she didn't understand his coldness, and her own arm extended towards him, feminine hand appearing in his line of vision. For a moment, he believed that she was offering to help him up, though the idea was quickly distorted when she gave a stern (but always sugarcoated) order: "Give me your hand." He didn't. Instead, he stared at her soft fingers as if they carried a disease. Her wrist twitched, impatient with his stubbornness, head tilting bemusedly in response to his utter hesitance. "I'll make it better," She cooed, the corners of her lips curling upwards in a faint (but highly predictable) smile. He gave in, raising his damaged hand to hers, unblinking.

Kairi turned it over and over in her palms, butterfly touch barely grazing over his skin as she inspected and searched for fatal injuries (or as fatal as they get for a seven-year-old). When she pinpointed the red and slightly scraped area on the back of his hand to be the major source of his discomfort, she dug into her pocket and pulled out a tissue; they later discovered that she _always_ carried something in case a similar situation should arise. Like a mother nursing her child's wound, she dabbed the white paper dexterously against his hand, cleaning away all traces of blood and sweat before satisfied with her friend's welfare. Without warning, she proceeded to lift his injury to her face, thin lips pressing against what would surely form into a bruise later. He flinched, not from pain, but surprise; and mere seconds later she carried it away from the spellbinding kiss, a gentle giggle dripping from honeyed vocals while he quirked an eyebrow.

"He_ee_y," The forgotten dignity-breaking brunette whined behind the pair while plump lips formed into a jealous pout, his previous guilt shrugged away. He pressed his index finger against a sun kissed arm, apparently prodding what was supposed to be a bruise. Riku didn't see it. "I'm hurt too," He lied, and the boy on the ground sneered. The redhead laughed and dropped his hand, quickly disregarding his frown as she examined Sora's supposed wound, planting the exact same kiss on his arm.

From then on, they (mostly Sora, because Riku would never admit it) started going to Kairi with battle scars and splinters, expecting her to heal them with a little tissue paper and a kiss. Somehow, it worked every time.

- - - **♥** - - -

Now they're fifteen and sixteen and she starts to cry. He doesn't know what's wrong; he doesn't think when he offers her a reassuring touch, hands on her shoulders, eyes on her running mascara. She doesn't talk to him – she only cries while the unbearable summer sun beats against their backs, and he knows that she's never been so upset. He knows that she's supposed to smile all the time.

_So if she's crying_, he thinks and frowns while he pulls tangled strands of deep crimson hair away from her face, _her eyes must be broken_.

He wants to fix them; he wants to make them stop watering like she could make his cuts stop bleeding.

He leans towards her and kisses her closed eyelids, the contact lasting only seconds as he uses the exact precision that she did for years. She chokes and her gaze flutters until she's staring at him again.

"Riku," She breathes with what he wishes was affection instead of annoyance, "Stop it."

Stop it.

_Stop it._

_Stop it?_

_What am I doing?_

He remembers that Sora stole her heart instead – just like her attention and her kiss.

He realizes as he blinks and she cries that he should have handed her tissues.

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	2. wish

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**S A C R I F I C E  
_x_**;; Kairiku collection  
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oo2 ;; _wish_

The moonlight cut soft lines from Heaven to the shoreline, sprinkling a silver glow along quiet waves and dark palm trees. Nighttime had recently painted the sky a deep navy, free of dying pastels and vibrant blues while darkness – a more peaceful concept, but deceitful nonetheless – overwhelmed the islands. Tiny, glimmering pinholes dotted the sky, adding to the milky celestial light with dull blinks of white. A pair walked calmly down the beach, water tickling their bare toes every now and then while the wind tossed locks of red and silver around lips and noses. And the moon's tranquil light surrounded her silhouette like an angelic aura, he mused, silently stealing glances in her direction while they got farther away from the dock.

It might have been romantic if he knew that _he_ was on her mind, and not Sora; but it was an unspoken fact that Kairi couldn't stop worrying about the brunette. He had recently been called back to the outer worlds at the King's beckoning, supposedly for nothing other than a recollection of past events and plans for the future. But the redhead never budged on her strong opinion: they should all start traveling together, for none of them wished for the previous years-worth of separation to creep back into their lives. Sora insisted that King Mickey only wanted him to attend, and barely persuaded her by promising letters everyday of his stay. "And Riku will be here with you," the teen remembered him saying, flashing Kairi his infamous _heartthrob_ smile, "So you have nothing to worry about."

Riku couldn't remember if it made her feel better or not – but he guessed it hadn't.

Regardless, she called him to their old Play Island near ten at night with an offer that he couldn't refuse: company.

It wasn't often that the two got to talk anymore: about what happened, what they wished would happen, or just little conversations that friends are supposed to have. Maybe that was why there was a heavy silence lingering between the two bodies, blocking out each others voices that rested idly in their throats but had no desire to be noticed. It had been so long since they walked the shore together, it became frighteningly foreign – it was always _Sora _and _Kairi_ or _Kairi_ and _Sora_ now, but never _Riku_ anymore. He should have seen it coming; he should have understood when he realized that Kairi's heart took shelter in Sora's, not his. He should have accepted it when he locked himself behind that door and made Sora give him a promise (_Take care of her because I failed I failed I failed I'm so sorry I hurt you_). But somewhere inside him, he still had a bit of hope; he was still the naïve boy that thought he could wake her up or get her heart back with a kiss, because he was her hero and she was his princess.

"A lot has happened, huh?"

The silence was broken; her honeyed voice caressed his ears with truth, and he realized that there was no response that summed up how much he agreed. Yes, a lot had happened –_ more than you could ever know_. But he kept silent and he found his shoulders rolling upwards in a nonchalant shrug, as if he could beat back the memories with his coolness.

But part of him knew that she didn't need an answer; she already knew what it was, as she waited in the serene stillness and stared at the sand beneath their unclothed feet.

It was another five minutes of endless silence as they walked and thought.

Riku had eventually taken to staring up at the sky, a quiet captivation held within the soothing stars. It was almost frightening to remember that, if he had stargazed before, he would have been watching them flicker out – one by one, worlds consumed by the darkness that he had once released. That he had once believed in. That he had once _controlled_. Kairi managed to catch him scanning the sky, lips curling into a gentle smile while she timidly connected his pessimistic pastime with one of her own.

"When I was little, I used to wish on stars at night," Kairi reminisced, her pale neck lightly arching back to peer up at the sky. His mouth didn't move, but his eyes trailed back down to their world, cautiously connecting with her elegantly illuminated face. When she realized that he wasn't to respond, she continued: "What would you wish for?" He hadn't noticed that she turned to look at him again after her awkward question, for he was instantly spellbinded by how blue her eyes were, and how more enticing they became when the moonlight shone against them. He blinked once to close the contact, licking his suddenly bone dry lips and actually contemplating her question. If it had been a year ago, he would have wished to be with her – but he tried to believe that he wasn't so selfish now, and turned the thought away.

"Nothing." The answer might have come out harsher than he wanted it to, but Kairi didn't take notice.

"Really? Nothing at all?" Her inquisitive voice almost made him cringe; it was too obvious that her intentions had been to ask: _no regrets?_

_I have too many regrets to name. But…_

He didn't answer, and she stopped walking. Like a loyal pet, so did he. Her head tilted for a moment, and he could tell that she was biting her lip from hesitation; he was sure he knew what was coming next, and wasn't too willing to hear it.

"Riku," She started quietly, her voice no longer airy and innocent but holding a deep confusion that he knew he caused. "You've changed. Why don't you talk to me anymore?"

He took in a deep breath to recover from the reality, blinking harshly before devising a plan and allowing a semi-amused (but fully fake) smirk to lift the corners of his lips. "Maybe I would, if you weren't so damn _persistent_."

At first she was shocked, eyebrows knotting in puzzlement and annoyance and failure. Perhaps it was his casual swear that made his accusation so real; he knew she hated it when he swore at her, but eventually she caught his joke and rolled her eyes. It was hesitant nonetheless, because they both knew that they were hurting inside – they both wanted each other's voices and conversation just to know that not everything had changed because of some stupid mistakes. But before he knew what was happening, he was off balance and tumbling into the ocean; she pushed on his shoulder, and either she had grown incredibly stronger or he was completely out of it (he was willing to bet on the latter). He blinked stupidly after splashing into the cold liquid, gaze trailing upwards to the wickedly smiling redhead.

_I don't need a wish._

There was never a truer smile that coiled around his lips while a devious flame flickered in bright aquamarine and she burst into gigglefits. But her laughs soon melted into screams of protest when he grasped her wrist in his hand, and pulled her into the water with him.

_This is all I could want._

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a **u t h o r s** . _note_ ;;  
Wow. My ending was really cliché, but at least I updated, right? Nyeh. For the record, I have about… six or seven drabbles started and saved on my computer, but I keep losing muse and I'm pretty sure over half of them are too poorly written to see FFnet. I'm going to try to finish another one soon, though. Yay.

And thank you everyone who reads or reviews, it's much appreciated. I love getting input on what I write, and I'm glad that you seem to be enjoying it so far.


	3. light

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**S A C R I F I C E  
_x_**;; Kairiku collection  
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oo3 ;; _light_

_Sora. SoraSoraSoraSora._

The name bounced and echoed off invisible dark walls, swirling menacingly with grays and blacks while he stumbled halfheartedly down a pathway to nowhere. Words cluttered his mind, though none of them were his own. Perhaps the dark realm he blindly crawled through was offering kindness by letting him hear them; but he felt more as if he were being tortured, for he knew that their hurt and sadness was fueled by the mistakes he had made – and he was sure that being forcefully connected with Ansem had something to do with it, which was frightening nonetheless. Pseudo sand or snow dusted over the top of his shoes and scratched at his toes while he dragged his feet, always seeming to be one step behind him. The darkness worked like a liquid; no breath was deep enough to bring in a sufficient amount of air while his cold heart murmured and his lungs clogged with thick, black oxygen. His eyelids constantly fluttered, dropping shut then forcing open again and again through utter exhaustion.

_Sora! Come back, Sora!_

He stopped, breathing heavily and nearly panting while disarrayed silver locks clung desperately to his damp face. Gloved hands were raised, eyes closed and palms pressing into the sockets while he rubbed against pain and tiredness. Pinwheels of light and color exploded beneath the dark covers, and he could almost imagine them as the faces to the shouts he kept hearing: a dog and a duck. Two dimwitted companions he had spent a whole ten minutes with. And then there was Kairi – dear Kairi, on the verge of tears for something he had started. He pressed his hands deeper into the hidden pools of aquamarine, pressure building on them until he felt as if they would burst; but a numbness that radiated from his empty chest disregarded the soreness for something that, no matter how cliché, let him know he was still alive.

Dying was only his second worry.

_Sora, are you really-- no. It can't be. I won't let him go!_

He felt chilled by her determination, cold fingers and bare arms shivering uncontrollably as if a wind had ripped through the darkness, aiming for the lost boy who had invaded its home. He sneered indirectly at the unnatural breeze as it seemed to turn his sweat to frost, blurry vision locking on the gray-white particles beneath his feet when his hands slipped back to his sides. For a moment he wondered, almost selfishly: _Would you let me go, Kairi?_

_Do you even remember me?_

_Why don't you wonder if I'm dead?_

_I was the one who wanted to save you._

Even if Maleficent had lied to him before, Riku still wanted to believe that Sora didn't love her, too; he greedily hoped that his suicidal sacrifice had been performed because he _had_ to, not because she was _dear_ enough to him. He held onto the idea that Sora cared about a puppet more than their redheaded friend – and he knew it was only adding to the coldness in his heart, but kept the fight going like their never ending rivalry and his overwhelming number of victories scribbled in the brunette's head. He spitefully wondered if he would see him drifting in this same darkness, and wrapped his arms around himself as he quivered again.

_So, you have awakened at last, Princess_.

The voice nearly made the hair on his neck stand up on end; the sickeningly deep, smooth, persuasive tones that he had once confided in. He immediately felt an anger rumbling inside his throat, vocal cords straining to let out sound, as if he believed that they could hear him, too. But how horrible it would be if that were the case – he couldn't even breathe correctly, let alone talk to Kairi and get her out of there. The teen cringed, head lowering in defeat; Kairi would lose her heart again to the darkness because of _him_. It seemed that every time he wanted to help her – if he just wanted to see her alive or hear her voice again – she paid for it. If Kairi disappeared and Sora was gone (no matter how much he _hated_ him right now, they were still friends somewhere), Riku knew that he would be lost as well. It was all becoming an inevitable chain of events, and the dead Keyblade Master wasn't the holder of Destiny this time – Riku screwed everything up.

Ansem continued his assumptions and Riku's shivering became harsher, to the point where his body seemed to convulse. He hadn't realized it at the time, but his shaking was caused by a lock in his throat as sobs tried to push their way through, pounding against his chest and voice for freedom. But Riku didn't cry, he was sure – even if he was about to lose sight his light, he wouldn't let his emotions tear him apart.

He blinked at the revelation, acting as if it were the first time he ever realized it – and in truth, it probably was.

_You might not know this, Kairi – but you're my light_.

He had never forgotten her while walking through the darkness; he never forgot what he did to her, or what he never had the chance to do. Perhaps, if she was his light and she would let him keep believing it, there was still a bit of hope. _There's still a light in every darkness – I see it when I think of _you.

So if he let her die, there would be no silly road covered in white left to travel. There would be no voices or faces in his eyelids. There would be no will to keep going through the darkness, and no one would have the chance to get back home again. He couldn't keep that away from her just because he was scared.

He desperately remembered her while he felt something trickling through his blood; a bit of warmth, maybe, so foreign and painful and beautiful to the previously cold heart resting in his chest. Something white flickered in the distance – light, his light, enticing him to walk. But another step wasn't necessary, as seconds later he seemed to be consumed by the supernatural force. His breath caught in his throat while colors splashed into a previously monochrome world; no longer was he standing in a realm of complete darkness, but on the solid ground in an all too familiar castle. It strained to move an inch, and for a moment he wondered why – as if he had forgotten his mission, he believed he might have been dead all over again and was buried beneath mounds of sand and dirt. But he breathed and realized that he could still feel his heart beating quietly in his chest – and when he looked over at her, it began to beat faster.

He felt so empty, and at the same time, complete; he was a transparent image derived from the light in his heart, no matter how much he refused to believe that any was left.

"Impossible," The tan man boomed behind him as Riku flickered into existence again.

"No," He responded while forcefully spreading his arms on either side of him, creating a shaky blockade between the two groups. "You won't use me for this!"

"Riku?" He watched her hesitantly take a step forward, seemingly oblivious to everything that had happened before her revival. Her eyes immediately brightened as they fluttered over his see-through body, overturning a hidden candle of hope and relief – for she might have witnessed part of Sora's death, but Riku was still here. Even if he was trembling from the dark force behind him and the golden aura around him was anything but natural, he was _with her_.

What he would have given to see her so alive only hours ago.

But Sora woke her up this time, he knew it – and that made his decision hurt a little more.

This would be it; he might never see her again. But he would make that sacrifice, if only for her benefit.

"You've got to run," He started, voice loud but cracking all the same. "The Heartless are coming!" Without seeming too afraid – without letting unwanted tears crawl into his eyes or a sob in his throat – he tried to urge them along with panic and pressure.

But their eyes inevitably locked and he was afraid he would lose it.

Blue-violet irises laced with worry dived into his, searching for some sort of explanation or plead to stay and help. And that was his fear: if he let her see that he couldn't handle this alone, she _would_ stay behind, and she _would_ lose her heart again. Shadow Heartless began to rise from the ground around them, eerily swinging bug-like antennas around while they twitched and reached towards the girl and animals. Kairi glanced at them offhandedly before giving a strong nod, hand resting on her chest – her heart – while she confirmed to her escorts that they were to listen to the light projection.

So, with a white duck screaming maniacally beside her, she left her friend behind but let him keep her light for a little while longer. He watched longingly as she disappeared into the dark corridors of the castle, and suddenly his arms began to twitch again as Ansem gained back power. He could almost _feel_ the smirk that curled along his dark lips, and grimaced as he noticed a familiar iciness in his chest.

"You interfered for her?" He began as Riku flinched. "How touching. But, I think it's time you went back to darkness."

He thought of Kairi while he opened his jaws in a silent scream, the golden light instantly extinguished as if it were a fire.

He felt cold again.

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a **u t h o r s** . _note_ ;;  
This has got to be a record with updating for me. And that was much longer and yuck than I thought it would be o.o;  
I've got the next one pretty much planned out, so that should be up soon as well.  
And another thanks to readers and reviewers, because you're too nice D:


	4. nightmare

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**S A C R I F I C E  
_x_**;; Kairiku collection  
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oo4 ;; _nightmare_

It was only expected for the teens to have nightmares after their return to Destiny Islands.

Sometimes she would jolt to life in a cold sweat, breathing horribly labored as she frantically scanned the shadows of her quiet room for glowing eyes or twitching antennas. She would throw her sheets to the ground and turn her arms and legs over and over, looking for scratch marks or mortal wounds that would surely leave a stain on her pillows. She would rub her eyes and face and to make sure everything was still attached – she would dab around her skin for blood or remnants of darkness. She would eventually peer outside her window to make sure the ocean and sky were a normal color, and breathe a sigh of relief while settling back into her bed. There was never an injury that could travel from her dreams to her body, and by the time the sun poked its head over the watery horizon, half of her nightmares would be forgotten and left to pick apart for the next night of sleep.

But Riku wasn't like that. If he had a nightmare, he didn't sleep at all.

She noticed his desperate fatigue a few weeks after they came back. The three of them – Kairi, Riku, and Sora, because they became inseparable – had been traveling to their old Play Island every chance they could get. Sora finished packing up for the day, dropping into his paddle boat and waving a quick goodbye to his friends before setting off for the Main Islands. Kairi wandered the shore collecting last minute Thalassa shells, hoarding them together for a project she'd been meaning to start. Riku sat idly on the dock, seeming to stare at the sunset while he waited for the redhead to climb into her boat. His legs were pulled tightly to his chest, cradled by pale arms, his chin touching his knees while stubborn silver bangs blew relentlessly into his line of vision. By the time Kairi had enough undamaged shells in her hands, Sora was out of sight and likely already at the other island. The teenager smiled proudly to herself while she gently slipped her collection into her boat, lifting the paddle and glancing up at the silent boy.

"Let's go – it's getting late."

She fumbled with the rope connecting her boat to the dock while she waited for an answer – but never got one. Once she had succeeded in getting the first knot out of the cord, she let it fall limply in her palms and stared expectantly at Riku's back. "Did you hear me, Riku?" She accused playfully, though an eyebrow quirked when he only shifted his head a little, refusing to respond again. She sighed and dropped the rope, standing up and placing her hands on her hips. "Riku, are you—"

She stopped abruptly when she realized that her friend wasn't ignoring her – he was asleep.

It was peculiar nonetheless for Riku to choose this moment to get rest, so she worried that he might be sick with a fever. She let her paddle drop noisily to the wooden dock and stepped behind him, crouching to the ground and immediately pressing the back of her hand against his forehead. He jerked, electric blue eyes (that were unhealthily dull) shooting open while his gaze focused on the redhead's troubled frown. He wasn't burning up, but he still had a sickly pasty hue about his skin and contrasting dark circles under his eyes. Now that she was close enough to notice, the sinking sun's orange glow brought out chapped, almost bloody marks on his lips.

"What?" He snapped irritably, blinking away a drowsiness that declined to part.

Hesitantly, she moved her hand away and backed up a few inches. Her frown grew deeper, a tilt of her head defining her confusion in his sudden touchiness. He had been distant after they arrived, yes – but she figured it was normal, not because he had grown a sleeping disorder. "Are you okay?" She said softly, almost in a whisper, as if she were afraid someone else would hear even though they were the only ones left on the island.

He gave a nonchalant shrug, obviously forcing himself to keep his eyes open. "I'm just a little tired."

"You look like you haven't slept in weeks."

He breathed deeply and moved his legs to hang over the side of the dock, brushing locks of silver hair out of his gaze. It took a moment for him to build up a response, and she almost feared that he was falling asleep again. "I haven't," He concluded, tone flat and truthful while he took to staring at their reflections below.

Genuine concern cracked the girl's previous tick of curiosity. Motherly as she was, Kairi placed her hand on his shoulder now, cooing as quietly as before: "What's wrong?" She noticed him tense as she asked her question, and even she could almost feel the headache that was certainly pulsing from his mind. He turned his head slightly farther in the other direction, biting down on his already sore lower lip.

After seconds that seemed like hours, Riku finally admitted to her in a soft mutter: "It sounds stupid, but I'm having nightmares."

Instead of bursting into hurtful laughter like any confessor would have imagined, Kairi continued. "About what?" Not like she didn't have a clue, but as if they were in a therapy meeting, she figured it would be best if he explained; and she was ready to wait until he was ready to talk.

But his next answer came painlessly, like it had been on the tip of his tongue or infesting his mind since the battle with Xemnas. His voice had a bit of a robotic hint to it, and nothing about him seemed _Riku_ at all. It was almost frightening – and maybe even more so that the tortured boy was still viewing harsh memories at night. Out of the three of them, Kairi had always imagined Riku of having the worst time; his explanation only proved that for her. "About the darkness; Xehanort's Heartless, Maleficent, the mistakes I made – how I almost got you and Sora killed when I opened the door." He stopped, gaze flickering from the water to her. She stayed silent, effortlessly locking eyes with him until he finished: "And about losing you again."

The corners of her lips tugged upwards, a soft smile gracing them while she gently shook her head. "You never lost me, Riku," She said comfortingly, "We're always in each other's hearts – right?" He nodded solemnly in response; if they had learned anything over and over again during their journeys, it was that. But it didn't stop the nightmares, no matter how reassuring it was. Timidly, Kairi slipped the hand that was resting on his shoulder around his neck, and pulled him into a sloppy hug. She was sure she felt both of their hearts flutter. But he didn't respond, and she realized after a moment's heartache that it was because he was slipping back into slumber again, head resting lightly on her shoulder while he struggled with consciousness. A small giggle dripped from her vocals as she delicately pushed him off.

"We'll stay here tonight," She offered, "And I'll watch over you while you sleep. I'll make sure you don't have anymore nightmares, okay?" He groggily nodded his reply – rowing back to the other islands seemed like too much, let alone walking three feet to his boat. Eventually, his head was on her lap while she protected him from the darkness; like a mother helping her child back to health, she refused to take her eyes off him for too long, incase something should happen within the seconds of her mind's wandering. They pretended that there was nothing else to the world but this – no outer planets, no darkness, and no other land masses with houses that waited for their children to get back home. Sometimes he hoped that they forgot about Sora, too, but he knew that Kairi would sometimes talk to the brunette about _his_ nightmares, or about _his_ adventures. Still, she saved most of her comforting for the troubled sixteen-year-old, and found that not only could she rid his mind of darkness, but her own as well.

They made a habit of sleeping on the dock at least once a week, for Riku's sake and health – it wasn't comfortable, of course (they both woke up with backaches and headaches and never memories of nightmares), but she figured it was the closest they had ever been. In a cliché way, it might have been the happiest. Needless to say, Kairi took her job as seriously as Sora did the Keyblade; she practically _studied_ him for signs of discomforting dreams, always ready to sooth her unconscious friend back to peace.

She almost started to admire how adorable he looked when he _was_ sleeping calmly – or even when his eyebrows pinched and his breathing quickened at a sight in his mind's eye, he still looked like a lost little boy. Kairi would admit to being frightened the first night of their healing session, as his fears seemed to hit all at once: he bit his lips and crushed his fists so hard that his nails nearly drew blood in his palms. His heart beat in overdrive, which in turn caused hers to do the same – but when she finally began to brush the hair and tiny beads of sweat out of his face while whispering quiet reassurances (_its okay, Riku. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere_), he calmed and she was finally able to fall into sleep as well. She would probably never admit it, but she _had_ managed to kiss his forehead once or twice during particularly stubborn dreams; it wasn't as if he ever noticed, so she felt no need to pursue their time together past nights on the dock and days with Sora.

Needless to say, Riku started looking more recovered afterwards, even if few took the time to notice his exhaustion. But he knew he would get better when Kairi vowed to help – she always kept her promises.

After she was done being a nurse or a mother (or a _lover_ – but don't tell Riku), she found it utterly refreshing to be uninfected with her own old nightmares; maybe even more so to wake up with wood markings engraved on the side of her face, and Riku only a foot or two away.

She started to realize that, maybe, she wouldn't mind waking up every morning like that.

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a **u t h o r s** . _note_ ;;  
Hum. I notice that these keep getting longer xP  
I donno. The ideas I had for this one sounded a bit better in my head, I think o.o; (and there's another cliché at the end for you, Constance. Yay.)  
Regardless, thanks agaaain, reviewers and the likes.


	5. waffles

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**S A C R I F I C E  
_x_**;; Kairiku collection  
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oo5 ;; _waffles_

The clock on his right shone brightly in fluorescent red while its bold digital numbers silently switched to 2:08.

Riku was lying idle on the sofa in his living room, propped up in the darkness by his elbow on the armrest. A blanket was draped over his legs and his eyelids were half open, though had little desire to flutter shut into rest despite the ungodly hour it was. The trio had only been home for three days, and Riku wasn't known for pulling all-nighters regardless of their previous situations – the only reason he was awake was because two other bodies were invading his floor, dead except for the soft rise and fall of their chests and the occasional twitch or snore from the brunette.

Kairi had brought up the idea of a sleepover – and Sora immediately responded with joyous declarations of how wonderful it would be to spend time together as a group again, stay up all night, talk about what happened in their year of separation, and raid the fridge. He was pretty good at the last one, Riku noticed; adventure (and puberty) had apparently made his stomach grow three times its previous size. He wasn't too fond of the fact that Sora was eating _his_ food, but they were all together again so that might have been enough.

Sora had, quite literally, passed out on the floor around one in the morning. He was on his back, sprawled out and pillow-less – but he didn't seem to mind, and Riku didn't seem to care. It was amazing that he fell asleep at all considering the amount of caffeine he had just shoved down his throat; Riku imagined that it was equivalent to his weight, and without sounding too much like Kairi or anything, wondered how he didn't get fat. For that matter, he wondered why the walls of his house weren't being dented by the boy's hyperactive bouncing – he only let out this spastic twitch every half hour and turned over and muttered some incoherent mess about waffles.

Sora, really, hadn't changed that much.

But Kairi was the opposite of Sora, sleeping daintily on the floor about a foot away from each boy. A pillow was stuffed beneath her head while she quietly dreamed, ignoring the food wrappers and magazines and papers with jumbled scribbles on them that Sora used to get his point across while rambling about his journeys. Nothing about her peaceful slumber resembled the Kairi he knew from a year back – when she had lost her heart, and when he was able to get an inch away from her without being questioned. Of course, even if that were the only way to hold her or tell her that he really _did_ love her, he wouldn't wish them back in time; he would rather know that after his whispers against her ear, she would slowly blink her eyes open and smile (or stare at him like he had the plague – he really wasn't sure what _she_ felt).

Maybe he was kind of sort of obsessed. Not even _Sora_ was still awake, nor had he taken a break spewing nonsense about the other worlds to gaze at Kairi.

He saw her eyelids flutter in the darkness while two blue irises groggily poked from their sheets, illuminated by the pale moonlight that he hadn't bothered to block from pouring in at the windows. She pulled her arms around herself and might have shivered, and it wasn't until then he remembered he hadn't given either of his guests blankets – but he sucked as a host anyway.

And then he realized – _What is she going to think if I'm _staring_ at her?_

His face flushed a bright shade of pink, even partially visible against the silver nighttime light and darkness. In desperation, he threw his blanket over his face before she could register consciousness and pinned his eyes shut while dropping his head to the pillow against the armrest.

He heard her move, stiffly lumbering to her feet before tiptoeing to the sofa he was sleeping on. His heart started to race, almost fearing that he might have been caught. He was sure she must have been able to hear his heart on overdrive; it was the only sound pounding in his head.

"Riku," She whispered after getting close enough, poking a finger in his shoulder instead of slapping him for being a pervert like he'd expected.

_I'm not awake I'm not awake I'm not awake._

"… Riku?" Another poke that felt more like a jab.

_I'm not awake, really._

"Wake _up_." She began to assault him with numerous prods in his stomach and sides.

Riku jumped and snarled under his breath, curling up to protect his himself from her pokes while he slowly peered from beneath the blanket. He glanced upwards, as she had been leaning over him, and stared into her utterly amused _beautiful _mischievous eyes while he pretended _she_ was the one at fault for waking him up. "What _are_ you doing?" He grumbled, but gently so not to stir the brunette a few feet away.

She smirked smartly. He noticed her pillow under her arm. "I wanted you to mov—" She paused and squinted, eyebrows pinching together curiously while she suddenly leaned forward a little too close for comfort. It was hard to see in the dark, after all, but: "Are you all **red**?"

He nearly choked.

Instead, he just stopped breathing.

What? Was he suddenly supposed to admit his profound love for her; how he had been staring at her for the past few hours and—

You know. That didn't sound too bad.

_It's not like I'm going to have another chance like _this

"Kairi?" She tilted her head, a playful smile still engraved on her lips.

_Can't back out now._

"I… kind of…"

_Crap. I sound like Sora._

He shifted a little so his arm was holding him up again. "Uhhm. I really—"

"WAFFLES HAVE sixteen squares."

Riku stopped.

And blinked.

And turned to stare at the sleeping Keyblade Master who had been forgotten but was still sprawled on the floor mumbling (**yelling**) a not-so-incoherent-mess-anymore about waffles.

… And completely ruined Riku's plan.

Kairi was staring at him, too, but her eyes weren't flickering with some deep hatred that hinted she wanted to strangle or stab or murder the boy in his sleep. She raised her hand to her lips and stifled a small giggle, turning back to Riku a second later. "We better go back to sleep before we wake Sora up." It was supposed to be a hint that neither of them wanted the brunette to realize that he _was_ in fact very much awake with pounds of sugar pulsing through his veins, but Riku was more or less devising a plan that would make sure he _never got up again_. Kairi tiptoed to the now free side of the couch and Riku twitched.

"Goodnight, Riku." Throughout his silent thoughts of torture, he hadn't noticed that Kairi's awakening had been due to her opt for a more comfortable sleeping place; she decided not to go back to her seat on the floor, but tugged his blanket half over herself and placed her pillow against the armrest opposite of Riku. He barely felt their toes brushing against each other and turned another light shade of pink, though he couldn't rip the blanket over his head this time.

So maybe he wouldn't get _that_ chance again.

But most likely, he wouldn't get this one either.

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a **u t h o r s** . _note_ ;;  
Disregard the fact that I was most likely on crack while writing this.  
Yeah. You should all get stickers or something for actually making me want to continue writing this stuff. And ohemgee, I've been updating every _two_ days. That's a record for me, okay? D:  
Thank yoooou Constance and Ninja and Tishannia and the Random Idiot and… anyone else that has been reading. Your constant reviews make me happy and want to torture Riku more. Squee **♥  
**(Yeah, I seriously need to figure out more Kairi-centric oneshots / drabbles / whatever. But uhm. Riku is more fun to inflict pain to?)  
And a bajillion more thank yous to **Constance**, since she told me what to have Sora say about waffles. So don't blame me if your waffles have more squares or something.  
Mine do.  
Oh. And she gave me an idea of what my next or otherwise future drabble will be about (because she can't read). Be afraid, Riku.


	6. breakdown

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**S A C R I F I C E  
_x_**;; Kairiku collection  
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oo6 ;; breakdown

Golden sunlight dripped from the sliver of fire left above the oceanic horizon, bursting in a silent finale while a thick layer of navy bled into the sky. Nighttime was fast approaching, dully lit stars just beginning to blink overhead and enticing the near-full moon out of hiding with a soft nocturnal rhythm. Palm trees became silhouettes, standing eerily against a background of calm waves and purple skies; one in particular, bowed at its base and gracefully stretching over the water, held another shadow towards its middle. Riku sat lazily atop the beige trunk, mindlessly staring into the glittering mass of color as it crept further and further away from sight, ignoring that he might permanently damage his eyes should he continue to gape at the daily phenomenon. If there were only one thing on Destiny Islands that would never change, it would be its breathtaking sunsets; after being through a year-long nightmare, the boy was only expected to cling to familiarity, and this was it.

Eventually, while only minutes away from submerging in darkness, gentle footfalls broke Riku from his daze. The sound came from behind, sandals clacking slowly against the wooden makeshift bridge; but the sluggishness seemed almost unnatural, as if the intruder had invisible shackles strapped around their ankles. Riku blinked and steadied his vision before glancing over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of pink and red while his eyes tried to focus on her face. At the realization that it was only Kairi, however, he figured she would simply be prodding him to go back to the main island, as it was so late.

But when she noticed that he was watching her, she only flashed him a halfhearted smile and continued walking. Still, an anxious glint was apparent in her violet irises and negated her attempt at covering up the worry that she reeked of. Her eyes were glossy, a small layer of liquid visible within the delicate orange light – and it was more obvious, as she got closer to the Paopu tree, that she was on the verge of tears. Although she remained silent, she managed to damper Riku's previously serene mood with a sheet of awkwardness; even more so when Kairi pressed her back and palms against the tree, hopping up a moment later with only a few inches between them. She refused to look at him again, but instead gazed towards the ocean with a blank frown ruining her pretty lips.

For a short moment, he thought he heard her breathing get heavier, and concern dripped into his eyes nearly minutes before she finally decided to speak:

"I'm worried, Riku." Her gaze diverted to her hands, lightly trembling while she absent mindedly picked at her nails.

It didn't take a genius to figure out the reason; Sora had recently left the Islands after being summoned by the King, so Kairi, naturally, was troubled. Despite that there wasn't much room between them to start, Riku leaned towards her, bumping his shoulder against hers and offering a light smile. "Give Sora some credit," He started smoothly, tone laced with slight compassion while he watched her fumble with her own hands, "He's been through a lot. He won't go down that easy." His reassurance was welcomed by Kairi, but seemed to hold little effect while she continued to bite her lips and shift around uncomfortably.

Eventually, she hung her head and swallowed harshly before responding in a low, strangled voice: "Yeah, but…" His lips curved downwards as her words trailed off – he knew she would take Sora's departure hard, but not to the point of breakdown. Foreign to comforting or sympathy, he only considered placing a hand on her shoulder, or trying to pull her into a hug; and his opportunity was dismissed when she, suddenly, twisted and threw her arms around his neck. He hastily responded by recoiling back an inch or two, overwriting his previous compassion with shock – but she only clung to him tighter, as if afraid that he would leave just like Sora if she ever let go. After a few seconds of trying to keep his heart from pounding out of his chest, he hesitantly curled his arms around her back and she buried her head into his chest.

A literal whirlwind of emotions swirled around the pair: she was dismayed and he was confused (_and enthralled and mystified and god he hated to see her like this_). Through sniffles and sobs, a muffled voice slipped between her lips, tears running from her eyes and directly into his clothes – but he could care less. Each word seemed to pull a new string on his heart:

"I just keep thinking –"

Empathy (_Don't, don't, it will just hurt more – I know_).

"What if he _dies_ out there –"

Jealousy (_Sora won't die and you know it; he'll always return for _you_ and you'll forget about _me).

"What if he never comes back?"

Determination (_But I'll always be here and I'll never leave you like he did_).

Without comprehending, without _thinking_, he snuck a hand beneath her chin, gently tipping her face away from his chest. Their eyes clicked together for mere seconds – watery violet against glazed aquamarine – before he slipped forward and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was soft; neither passionate nor emotionless, but she grew slack in his grasp anyway, barely responding to him with more than a rapidly fluttering heart. It was like a wordless promise: he _loved her_ and would never leave her alone again, even if that meant **forcing **the _selfish_ brunette to let Kairi go along with them. The kiss shortly deepened before he pulled away, their noses still close enough to touch – and Kairi, looking as if she had just committed sin, choked back a last sob.

"Riku…" Neither of them could comprehend more than each other's breaths and heartbeats and awkwardness. She blinked away droplets of tears that were still clinging to her eyelashes, her obvious declaration rushing from her tongue in a sheer whisper:

"I love Sora."

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a **u t h o r s** . _note_ ;;  
Oh wow. It took me forever to update this time. I blame school, kay? D:  
I also blame my lack of emotion and shortness of this oneshot on being sick. So rawr.  
Yeah, I'm aware that I completely ruined my first Kairiku-kiss ficlet with that last line. Stfu? **♥  
**( But I may or may not have a few more half-written. _Sooo_. )  
ILY, reviewers & readers. (:


	7. keyblades

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**S A C R I F I C E  
_x_**;; Kairiku collection  
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oo7 ;; _keyblades_

A fresh layer of orange began to color the horizon as dusk's reign took hold of the sky, slowly pushing the sun out of sight with heavy blues and purples. Even as the islands below began to cool with nighttime settling in, a suffocating heat wrapped hazardous fingers around its inhabitants, relentlessly burning sand and skin with the little sunlight it worked on. Only a light tropical breeze offered condolences every few minutes, barely grazing past emerald palm leaves and calm, cerulean waters while it fought weakly against the fiery temperature. Most had stayed inside during the day – and truly, Riku hadn't a sane reason to dehydrate himself for hours straight with a scalding metal keyblade attached to his hand.

Destiny Islands would never change – but the three teenaged islanders now understood that it didn't exempt them from darkness. There was always the chance of being attacked another time or separated between the worlds, and Riku wasn't willing to hold his friends' safety questionable, especially Kairi's. He was concerned of losing her again as any friend would be, and particularly because he hadn't been able to save her the first time, he was unsure he could try again. The boy had brought the topic up to Sora, whom agreed that it would be favorable to teach her how to properly use her keyblade – but he just as quickly explained that he _couldn't_ do it today, because his mother was holding him hostage or something. Or, more appropriately but not directly said:

_You gave it to her, _you_ teach her_.

Of course the boys would feel awkward beating up their best _girl_ friend while trying to train her to fight; truthfully, Riku hadn't considered it when he handed the princess her keyblade in The Organization's castle. But it wasn't until she was standing in front of him, both hands on the hilt of the keyblade (which was _wrong wrong wrong_ but she always complained that it was too heavy) and chewing her lip in anticipation that he realized she was the only one who refused to take part in their play fights before the darkness. It didn't help that she had no experience with spars, or that the intense heat was constantly snapping their nerves in two and causing random arguments to spur from the tiniest issues.

"This is so _stupid_, Riku," Kairi spat angrily while she dragged the back of her hand across her forehead, wiping away beads of sweat and specks of dirt. She was sitting in the sand, her flowery keyblade stuck clumsily upright beside her, annoyance flashing in tired violet irises. The girl wasn't used to getting sweaty, and coincidentally, it caused her to want to murder the boy causing it. "You've been training me all day. Can't we take a break?"

Riku – who stood impatiently a foot in front of her – gave a weak shrug and shifted his grip on his keyblade. "You have to learn to protect yourself."

She seemed to consider this, though merely met his gaze with an accusing stare. "But if you don't go away again, I won't have to."

Riku sighed in response, letting the hand with his weapon fall slack at his side. Of course he didn't _want_ to leave again – and he didn't want to leave _her_ again, which made her claim all the more upsetting. But he couldn't control the darkness (anymore), so he was unable to have power over whether or not he could stay home. "You know that's not my choice," He answered after a moment's pause, gazing back at the girl with an equally suspicious glance until she forfeited the unofficial staring contest and shrugged lightly.

Silence overwhelmed the pair while Kairi reached for her keyblade again, and traced lazy, mindless outlines against the burning metal. Riku's interest on continuing the lesson was obviously failing, but an utterly refreshing breeze began to stir through the island and push him back to reality. He couldn't just give up, no matter how hard it was to get through to her that she _needed_ to learn. Knowing that she could hit a target a foot in front of her would be reassuring at the least should anything ever happen again.

"Try to block this," He demanded suddenly, raising his weapon one more time and waiting for her to comply.

She groaned and pulled herself to her feet. "It's getting late, Riku. I'm tired." The older boy didn't answer, but waited for her to ready her keyblade – and she did, after another audible grumble. Both of her hands were still clutching the handle, and her knees were awkwardly bent so she looked as if she were simply slouching over – definitely unattractive and almost appalling to Riku, whom had spent years defending himself _correctly_ with the unique weapon. A frown touched the corners of his lips while he lifted the keyblade over his head, not bothering to try to correct her again in her fighting posture. He jumped forward and swung, and she raised her keyblade in turn, left hand slipping to the blade-end in attempt to hold her weapon against his. But Riku was still uncomfortable with the idea of hitting Kairi, and instinctively lessened his blow moments before his blade clashed against hers. She easily parried it and thrust forward, causing him to drop his attack and offer a barely noticeable smirk in approval.

However, instead of being delighted at her advancement in his training, she became exasperated at his obviously faux-swing.

"Riku!" She protested, waving her keyblade to the side while her fists hit her hips and her lower lip jutted in a soft pout, "You're going easy on me!"

Riku raised an eyebrow, holding his free hand against his own hip (and trying not to notice how adorable she looked with her pout) before defensively responding: "How are you going to fight if _I'm_ trying my best?" Perhaps it wasn't one of his better points, nor was it the reason that he was so uncomfortable – and his egotistical comments were unaccepted by Kairi.

"Well I'm never going to learn _anything_ if you keep hitting like a wimp."

"_Please_. The only thing you'll get is stitches."

"You have got to be kidding me." Her fist clenched tightly around the keyblade before she finished unsurely: "I-- I could beat you!"

"Sora still can't," He declared while turning away from Kairi in a rude attempt to shield the irritation glistening in his eyes, "And hecan hold his keyblade right." Riku inattentively dragged his arm across his sweat-drenched face, taking a few steps down the shore away from the redhead. He hated to fight with her almost as much as he hated to _try_ to hit her – and he obviously could have picked a better day to train, instead of the hottest in years.

An aggravated and uncharacteristic snarl rumbled in the girl's throat. To her, he was merely running away from the problem, blocking her out with his ego-barricade as he walked further away; it took a lot to tick the girl off, and he'd managed it. Unknowing to Riku, Kairi lifted her keyblade, still using both of her hands – but she could care less about being scolded again. Perhaps she was expecting her _masterful_ teacher to turn around and block instead of completely forfeiting her challenge, but Kairi swung her weapon towards him in a golf-like stroke, which dexterously hit the back of his head with a too perceptible crack.

Riku spewed a list of incoherent swears, immediately pressing his hand against his head while his keyblade hit the sand – and he eventually followed, knocked out by the girl's suddenly lethal strike.

"Ohmy**god**!" Kairi shrieked, dropping her keyblade to the ground and slapping her hands over her mouth. "I'm _so so so_ sorry!" It took her a moment to realize that her apology hadn't been heard and Riku was unconscious on the ground – but the revelation only made her wail louder, fearing that she might have killed the teen or would need to drag him into her boat to row back to the main island. How would she explain? Of course, that didn't stop her from screeching her panicked plan to the boy on his stomach when she noticed a thin trail of blood mixed with his hair: "Don't worry, I-I'm going to get a first-aid kit! Stay here!" She might have noticed how ironic her statement was if she hadn't bolted into the shack a few feet away seconds after.

The moment she burst through the wooden door, pale fingers were fluttering over box covers in frenzy, searching only for the small white case that provided the secondary island with its only supply of band-aids and antiseptic. It hadn't taken long to locate, but by the time she was rushing back to the injured teen, he was groaning loudly and trying to pull himself back up.

"Hold on," She ordered, dropping to her knees beside Riku and flipping the first-aid kit open. Instead of agreeing, he immediately snapped:

"What the hell was that for?" Kairi bit her lip and picked out a cotton ball from inside the first-aid kit, dipping it into the disinfectant before replying:

"I thought you'd at least prove what you were saying." Her voice was no longer irritated or forced, and her comment wasn't to be taken as an insult. Riku blinked dizzily and may have continued the argument if Kairi hadn't begun searching through his hair, flipping up knotted layers of silver to find the source of her damage. It didn't take long, nor was there much blood to worry her, so she quickly dabbed the injury with the cotton to clean it off.

"Ow," He mumbled while she brushed the crimson away, wincing beneath the sterile liquid. A tiny smile crept along her lips.

"Stop whining," She teased, pulling the cotton away once the blood was no longer visible and seemed to stop running. She dropped it back into the kit, silently noting to take care of it later – for now, her attention was drawn back to Riku, whom had propped himself up on his arms and was trying again to get to his feet. It didn't last long; once he finally began to stand up, a wave of vertigo disrupted his vision and caused him to stumble backwards, ungracefully landing into a sitting position on the sand.

Kairi stifled a light giggle, still feeling bad for hurting her friend, but nonetheless attempting to brighten her mistake. She moved closer to him, slipping an arm around his forearms as if helping him stay up. Of course, this wasn't his problem, and a soft shade of red prickled his cheeks.

"I can sit up on my own," He grumbled in a barely noticeable voice, attempting not to lose every bit of dignity he had left.

"I know," She responded simply with a smile still teasing the corners of her lips, though made no effort to let him go. He tried one more time to pull upwards, right arm resting on her knee while his other palm dug into the sand; but the dizziness still apparent from the hit he'd taken prevented him from going further, and reluctantly, he leaned into her motherly embrace with a quiet frown.

The wind picked up again, seemingly colder than it had been when the two were still covered in sweat; Kairi nearly shivered, though the drop in temperature was not undesired. It tossed Riku's significantly longer hair around his face, which only made it harder to see his eyes; so, shyly, she slipped her fingers beneath his bangs and brushed them to the side, pale skin grazing against his in a butterfly-touch that near sent chills down the teen's spine. When they only blew back, she repeated the effort – and hesitantly, he raised his hand to hers, cupping its back in his palm and causing her to flinch embarrassedly. Her wrist twitched slightly as she attempted to slip her hand free, though he didn't seem fazed (nor aware of what he was doing). Their hands eventually trailed to the side of his face, and the two were content for a moment until something caused Kairi to ask:

"… Would you go?"

"What?" Maybe it was because he had just gotten a concussion from a girl who had never fought in her life, but Riku didn't remember talking about going somewhere. He tipped his head back to glance up at her, gaze unshielded by hair thanks to her earlier concern. She almost looked hurt that he didn't remember, however, and prodded further with a more intense frown lacing her lips:

"If it were your decision -- would you leave again?" Her doubt was obviously spawned from his previous will to get off of the islands, as she couldn't have understood how much he regretted that decision. Riku moved his fingers slightly to entwine with hers, a smirk barely scratching the corners of his lips while he answered:

"Not unless you were with me."

She smiled.

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a **u t h o r s** . _note_ ;;  
My lameness has no limits. I'm not very proud of this one. It's all sorts of jumbled, and I had ideas for it – but they all kind of died while I was writing D: Ohh well. It's fun to torture Riku anyways, right?


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